Here's The Boring Official Version (you'll need a snack).
Here's the general idea:
We pledge to do our best for you in improving your computing experience while keeping your costs down; however, you assume the entire risk of using any product or service we provide. We will not cause additional problems, but it isn't possible to completely account for the effects of pre-existing problems.
Our intellectual works are copyrighted - all rights reserved. You and your agents are forbidden to take possession of it, or create derivative works, without our prior written authorization.
We encourage you to post hyperlinks to our site as long as you do not portray us or our products or services in a false, misleading, derogatory, or offensive manner. You must not incorporate a display or derivative use of any portion of our site in another web site - such as within frames.
You assume all responsibility for pursuing recourse with third party vendors whose products and/or services we may make available.
We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, with or without reason.
Your use of any of our products and/or services constitutes your agreement to the Official Version of these terms.
Our policy is simple:
Under electronic, physical, and procedural security, we retain the minimum information which we feel is needed to effectively conduct business with you, and we do not share any of it except by mutual agreement or court order.
We do not collect information about you from your visits to our site. When you visit our site or send us e-mail, we do not "enroll" you to receive an endless supply of spam e-mail, and we don't plant adware, spyware, or malware on your computer. We work to eliminate this stuff, not spread it around; so the only way we'll get to know you is if you contact us!
Although we post links only to sites which we believe are trustworthy, Lauver Systems is not responsible for the content or behavior of external web sites.
Our page addresses all begin with http://lauversystems.com/ (or http://www.lauversystems.com/) - check your browser's address bar to verify.
We use JavaScript only for functionality and some enhancements. If your browser presents a security message about "active content" in our pages, you can safely allow it.
We do use small temporary cookies, which expire in one day, to improve presentation. We do not use cookies to store information about you.
Why no eye-popping graphics or exotic animation? Rest your eyes and work your brain. We'd rather teach than entertain.
All of our pages and graphics are hand coded and drawn, and we use minimal animation. This lowers our maintenance and server overhead, ensures our code is safe and error free, and allows your computer to display our site without stress.
If you have visual difficulty distinguishing colors of similar intensity, and if you're using the Microsoft Internet Explorer browser, you can switch the scroll bar coloration to light or dark from the Color Themes menu at left:
hover the mouse pointer over Color Themes to expand the menu, then click Scrollbar Color.
If you experience any of these symptoms from using our services, our maximum liability shall be to admit that we did it, and we're glad.